The Secrets to Becoming a More Confident Man
There are a lot of ingredients that go into becoming successful with women. You need to make her comfortable with you. You need to have the right status in her eyes. You need to know what to say, and how to act. However, more than any other ingredient in the recipe for success, you need to be confident. Sadly, this is what most guys lack. The bad news is that without a good amount of confidence, you’ll be relegated to the back of the pack. The good news is that confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you can build on your own. How, though? That’s exactly what I’m going to lay out for you.
The Right Type of Confidence
Before we go too far down this particular rabbit hole, I want to say a word or two about the type of confidence in question. I’m talking about self-confidence – that quiet, solid quality that says, “I know myself, and I’m capable”. I’m NOT talking about bravado or machismo. Those are destructive qualities that will either backfire, or attract the type of people (both women and men) that you don’t want around.
The confidence we’re talking about includes a number of different attributes, including charisma, a positive sense of self-worth, and a belief in your own abilities and decisions. It’s not about arrogance. It’s not about being loud and obnoxious. Real confidence is quiet – it’s recognized instantly by women, without you needing to shout from the rooftops about how much of a man you are (hint: if you need to show off, brag, or chest thump, you’re actually NOT all that confident).
Now that I’ve explained that little caveat, let’s delve into the real meat of the topic. How do you build your confidence, particularly with women?
Easy Going Attitude
One sure sign of a confident man is his attitude, namely, an easy-going attitude that takes things in stride. This means that you don’t easily lose your cool, and that you’re able to roll with the punches. If you can’t maintain a level head when things don't go to plan, or you blow your top when things don’t go your way, then you’re projecting a lack of confidence. Women will notice this immediately. Whom do you think they’d rather spend time with – the guy who’s able to deal with anything that comes his way easily, or the one who has a tantrum when things don’t go perfectly to the plan? The answer is obvious.
Humility gets a bad rap in a lot of circles these days. There’s a mistaken impression that in order to be a “real” man, you need to be loud and annoying, that you need to call attention to yourself. “Real” men need to prove themselves somehow. That’s really not the case. Here’s the thing. If you have a lot of confidence, you don’t need to call attention to what you’ve done. You don’t need to find approval in the eyes of other people. You know what you’re worth, and what you have accomplished, and your own approval is all that you need. Being humble doesn’t mean that you’re a beta, or that you’re somehow second string. It just means that you’re not a loud, obnoxious ass. It means that you know your own value, and that you make your own judgements.
You Have a Great Sense of Humor
There are few things that convey confidence more than a good sense of humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh. Not only does that establish your confidence in yourself, but it also helps make them more comfortable with you. However, you need to understand the type of humor that’s needed here. A good sense of humor is not one that’s mean. If your idea of a good joke is taking someone else down, then you’re actually creating the opposite impression that you want.
Unconfident men seek to make themselves appear bigger, stronger, or more important by making jokes at the expense of others. A good sense of humor means making genuinely funny jokes that don’t denigrate other individuals or groups. In many instances, self-deprecating humor falls into this category. If you can laugh at yourself, it tells women that you are definitely a strong, confident man.
Dressing and Grooming Well
If you want to feel more confident, then you need to dress yourself properly, and invest some time in grooming. Not only will that make you feel more confident in yourself, but it will tell women that you’re a confident man, as well. Does that mean that you need to wear a tux to every night on the town? No.
As I explained in my post on How to Be a High Status Man, there’s more to it. You need to dress well, but appropriately for the occasion, event, atmosphere, weather and other factors. The rule of thumb here is not to dress like a slob. Dress yourself, and groom yourself, so that women take notice of you, but not so that you stand out like a guy who’s strutting around seeking attention. Confident men don’t need the attention of others.
Setting Goals, and Then Working to Meet Them
Really want to build your sense of confidence? Try setting goals and then working to meet them. The real secret of being a confident man isn’t dressing nicely, or making a woman laugh. It’s feeling confident in your own skin, and feeling comfortable with who you are as a human being. By setting goals and then achieving them, you show yourself that you have value.
That comes through to women around you in many ways – you exude it. It’s an inner quality that shines out from your actions, your attitude, the way you hold your head, and even the way that you interact with other people. By practicing goal-setting, and then actually working toward those goals, you tell your subconscious that you’re worthy, and that you have value. That builds inherent confidence.
Confident men are fit and healthy. That doesn’t mean that someone who’s overweight cannot feel confident in themselves, but the truth of the matter is that physical fitness and health do a lot to bolster your sense of self-esteem and your sense of self-value. There are also physical benefits to being fitter. A strong, healthy heart and lower blood pressure mean that you’re less likely to become flustered by new social situations. A higher level of natural endorphins released through physical exercise means that your mood will be better and remain elevated naturally. You’ll also have confidence in knowing that you look good, and that you feel good.
Eye contact is natural for those with confidence. It’s also an important element of strong interpersonal skills, ties into charisma, and can help you be more successful when it comes to women. Making eye contact during a conversation tells the other person that you are actively listening, and that you value what they have to say.
Learning New Skills
This one ties into the same concept that underpins setting goals. Learning new skills, mastering new concepts, and building your capabilities all make you feel more confident in yourself. The more you know, the more confident you are in your decision-making abilities. The more skills you have, the more confident you are as a man – you can handle a wider range of situations, whether we’re talking about tracking stock market performance or living off the land in a disaster situation.
Know Who You Are and What You’ve Accomplished
Finally, you need to look to your past to help build your confidence. Know who you are, and what you have accomplished. Our self-worth is often tied to how we see ourselves – our secret inner identity. If you feel that you’re not worthy of an attractive woman’s affection, then you’ll come across as less confident. If you feel that you’re not worthy of the attention of others because of past mistakes, or because of traumatic experiences, then you’ll come across as less confident. Know who you are. Know your value. Know the value of what you have accomplished and achieved in your life. Let that knowledge fuel your confidence.
In the End
When everything is said and done, confidence is a quality that will help you achieve more in all areas of your life, not just the world of dating. It’s a vital part of being successful in your career, in your social interactions, and, of course, in the bedroom. A strong sense of self-confidence gives you a quiet power that others feel and are attracted to. It’s also the foundation for so many other things you need to master in order to attract women.
If you’re not quite where you want to be in your dating game yet, I invite you to check out my Advanced Seduction Course 'The T8 System (click here)'. I’ll teach you more about confidence, but also about charisma, attraction and seducing women. Click the button below, and I'll see you on the next page!