How to Physically Escalate with Women: A Guide to Ramping Up Your Game
You’re out on a date. You’re both having a great time, sharing plenty of long, steamy looks. Thinking that you’re on the right track, you lean in and plant one on her lips and…you get slapped. She glares at you and storms off, leaving you in the dust, confused about what just happened. Where did you go wrong? You read all the signs – she was into you. Why didn’t it go better?
Chances are good that you actually misread the signs. Even if some of them were correct, you probably didn’t follow the right steps to escalate with her. Yes, there’s a formula that you need to follow, signals you need to look for, and both a right way to go about it, and a wrong way. In this guide, we’ll explore what you need to do in order to physically escalate with a woman, moving from a spark of attraction to an inferno of desire.
Signs to Watch For
First, let me make this clear – if you try to escalate, and she’s not interested, things are going to go south very quickly. And, make no mistake, that’s all on you, not her. A slap in exchange for an unwanted attempt at physical contact is the least of what you deserve in that instance. Don’t be a creep. Don’t be a douche. Only escalate if you KNOW that she wants you to.
How do you avoid that unhappy ending? It’s simple. You watch for the signs that tell you she wants you to do more than just talk to her. What are those signs, though? Here’s a quick rundown:
She Gets Closer: Perhaps the single best sign that she wants you to kiss her (and maybe more, later), is that she keeps getting closer to you. If she moves into your personal space, with her face closer to your face, that’s a great sign that she wants more.
She’s Flirting: All first kisses are preceded by at least some flirting. It might be awkward. It might be obvious. It might be confusing. But it’s there. However, remember that flirting is not an invitation to physical touch. You need to watch for flirting in conjunction with other signs, like her moving her face closer to yours.
She’s Watching Your Mouth: Unless she’s trying to read your lips because you took her somewhere where you cannot hear one another, seeing her focusing on your mouth is a good sign. Humans tend to look at what we want, and this is a sign that she is at least thinking about what it would be like to kiss you. Or, it could mean you’ve got something stuck in your teeth, or in your mustache, of course.
She Keeps Touching You: This is an excellent sign – she’s constantly touching you. She might lightly stroke the back of your hand, or continually bump up against you for no apparent reason (you’re not in a crowded area where she’s actually being jostled by other people). If she keeps touching you, it is more than likely a signal that she would like to escalate things.
Ok, so those are some of the signs that you need to watch for. That’s not all of them, but they’re all related. You should be able to tell when a woman is into you. And, again, if she’s not into you, then trying to escalate things physically is going to end badly for you (as they should). Now we need to take a look at some of the tactics that you can use with a (willing and interested) woman in order to take things to the next level. After all, seeing the signs is one thing. Doing something about her interest is another.
Tactics to Escalate
In order to successfully escalate from talking to kissing (and hopefully more, later), you need to employ some important tactics. You also need to have the right frame of mind.
Be confident and bold. Women love a man who is confident in himself and of his abilities. If you lack confidence, it comes across as weakness, or even as disinterest. It is easy to confuse shyness and uncertainty with a lack of desire to do more. If you’re not confident, you could be sending her mixed signal.
Next, you need to keep the conversation flowing. If you’re not somewhere that’s conducive to talking, then suggest leaving to go elsewhere (somewhere public – not back to your place). With conversation comes the chance to get to know her better, as well as for her to get more comfortable with you.
Now that you have set the stage, it’s time to bring on the strategy. Follow these steps:
Get Close: First things first. You cannot escalate if you’re not close to one another. Remove obstacles that might prevent you from getting closer to her. Rather than sitting at a table, sit or stand at the bar, or watch the dance floor from a standing vantage. Put yourself right next to her.
However, watch to see if she is actually placing obstacles between you. This is a sign that she’s worried, or uninterested. If you notice her distancing herself, stop immediately. It is probably best to find someone who’s more into you.
Make Contact: Handshakes are great ways to introduce yourself to new people, but not potential love interests. You shake hands with your boss. You shake hands with coworkers, or friends of friends. You do not shake hands with a woman you’re interested in. What do you do instead? You hug her. And by hug, I mean something other than what you do to your bros.
You need to hug her with your arms lower down – closer to her waist than her shoulders. Then, as you pull away, drop your hands to her waist, look in her eyes and smile a little. Note that if she pulls away at the beginning, it’s best to abort this attempt. Not everyone is comfortable with physical contact with those they don’t know well and you’ll need to back off or you risk losing her completely.
Take Her Hand: At some point in the evening, you’ll probably need to leave the club or other venue where you met and find something a bit quieter, where you can talk and build her confidence in you. You can, and should, suggest going elsewhere. When you leave, simply take her hand and guide her out the door and down the sidewalk. Not only does this let her get used to your touch, but it allows you to test the waters, so to speak.
If she pulls her hand away, she’s definitely not ready, and possibly not into you at all. If she leaves her hand, but it feels rigid, she’s nervous, and possibly scared. In both of these instances, you need to back off. She’s not ready for any form of escalation. However, if she grips your hand back and happily walks with you to the next venue, she’s interested in being with you.
Touch Her Hair: If you really want to find out if she’s ready for you to kiss her, use the hair test. At some point in the evening, reach out and touch her hair. You could tuck it behind her ear if it’s getting into her face, or just gently touch it. Then, say something about her hair – it could be something as simple and benign as telling her how soft it is. Watch her reaction to both your words and your touch.
If she pulls away, you need to slow things way down. You should spend a considerable amount more time getting to know her and building her comfort level before trying to escalate things. However, if she smiles and is completely at ease with your touch, or seems to enjoy it, you can go in for the kiss. Just remember that your actions must be based on her reactions. If she’s positive toward you, then escalate. If she’s not, then hold back.
By learning the signs that she is interested in you, coupled with the use of the strategies I’ve laid out above, you should be in a good place to escalate with a woman who wants you to do so. However, you should also have a good idea if she’s not into you, so you can avoid not only potentially painful embarrassment, but avoid coming off as a douche.
Perhaps the most important rule of all is this – be a gentleman. Real women want more than just another player. They want a real man, not a little boy playing silly games. Be that man. Not sure that you’re the attractive, charismatic man that confident women want? I can help. Sign up for my Advanced Seduction Program - 'The T8 System' (click here). There, you'll learn ALL the skills you need to know on successfully attracting and seducing women. Simply click the button below to continue on to the next page and watch the *secret* presentation where I go through the '9 Top Secret Methods to Completely Transform Your Sex Life in 8 Weeks or Less'..