5 Tips to Make a Girl Want You through Text
We’re living firmly in the Digital Age. Social media has replaced in-person get togethers. Twitter has replaced conversation. Tinder has replaced singles bars. Real, face-to-face interaction is dwindling, and that can seem like a major hurdle for guys looking to spark the interest of a girl they like. However, there are actually plenty of tools that you can use to your advantage here. There’s no need for digital technology to come between you and the girl you like – you can actually use it to make her want you more, particularly when it comes to texting. What should you do to make a girl want you through text? Here’s a quick rundown of what you need to know.
Before You Text
First, and I hate that I have to start off on this foot but it’s necessary given the pervasiveness of this particular activity, but if you think texting her a pic of your junk is the right way to start off the conversation, you need to go back to the beginning and rethink things. No girl wants to open her phone only to find an unasked-for picture of your manhood, particularly if you’re still in the early stages. The same thing goes for “sexting”. While that can be a lot of fun, it’s for those who are already IN relationships, not guys trying to get something started. It’s an amateur move, and one more likely to get you canned from her dating pool than into a relationship with her.
So, if penis pics aren’t the way to go, what should you do? Think about it, genius. You want to make a girl want you, to be excited to hear from you, and to look forward to your texts. To that end, you need to keep your texts lighthearted and upbeat. You want flirty, not dirty (until dirty is the point, at least).
Now that we’ve laid some basic ground rules, let’s dig into the topic. What should you do to make her want you?
Text Her Early
Perhaps the most important thing to do is to text her early – shortly after meeting her. There’s misinformation out there that texting, calling, or communicating with a girl too soon means that you’re needy, but that’s not even remotely true. I spell out exactly what you want to watch for when it comes to neediness and women in my post 7 Things That Will Make a Man Look Needy, and you’ll find that texting her soon after meeting her doesn’t make the list.
How soon should you text her? My recommendation is that you do it within 24 hours of meeting her. Waiting any longer than that allows her to start forgetting about you. It also makes it look like you’re not interested, and while that can be a valid part of a flirting strategy, you’re not there yet.
So, text her early, within 24 hours of being introduced to or running into her.
Make Sure You Use Her Name
The next thing to do is to make sure you use her name (you do remember it, right?). You need to nix the “baby” and “honey” immediately. Why? Isn’t that endearing? Isn’t that what other guys do? Sure, some do. And they get shut down because it can be 1) sleazy, and 2) make her think that you've forgotten her name, which is sure to get you dissed.
Make sure you text her using her name and not some sort of nickname that you’ve arbitrarily decided should apply to her, or the ubiquitous, overused, annoying “baby”, or any version of that (babe, hon, sweetie, etc.).
Using her name shows her several things. First, it proves that you remember the evening – that she made an impression on you. Second, it shows that you remember her name, which is probably a step higher than a lot of other guys have gotten. Third, it shows that you’re willing to personalize the text, rather than being generic.
With that being said, you need to avoid sending a text that looks like this:
“Hi, (HER NAME). What’s up?”
“Yo, (HER NAME), what up?”
“Hey, (HER NAME), this is Steve. We met last night at the party?”
None of those is a great way to start off your first text conversation. Instead, go for something that ties your text to her and to where you guys met. Something like this:
“Hey, (HER NAME), it was great to meet you at John’s party!”
“Hey, (HER NAME), great to meet you last night. What do you have planned for the rest of your weekend?”
So, how long do you wait to break out the pet names? The answer is “it depends”. You need to wait until you’ve had at least one date with her, but it might be longer. A lot depends on her comfort level, and how comfortable you can make her with you. Figure out what applies to your specific situation and then move at a pace that fits her.
Drop the High School Text Speak
Think that a text like “Wat u doin 2nite?” is going to get you a date? Hell, you’d be lucky to even get a reply from a real woman. Remember this – high school text speak is only usable in high school. If you’re out of school, then texting like that is out (if it was ever in to begin with). If your text reads like a list of government agency acronyms, you’re dooming yourself before you even start.
Given the pervasiveness of text speak today, why should you care? Why bother with proper spelling, punctuation and grammar? There are quite a few reasons for that, and I’ll list them below:
It makes you look lazy. And, any woman receiving a text with poor grammar, misspellings, typos and obvious shortcuts is going to wonder if you’re that lazy with your first texts to her, how lazy will you be in other areas of your life?
It makes you sound immature and childish. There’s a reason that text speak is synonymous with teenagers and school kids. It’s childish. It’s immature. So, if you use it in your initial texts with her, she’s going to associate those unwanted qualities with you. Talk about failure.
It makes you sound uneducated and unrefined. If your goal is to come across as being a slob, then by all means use whatever grammatical shortcuts you want to take. However, if you want to come across as a real man, a suave gentlemen, then you need to use correct spelling, punctuation and grammar.
You’ll note that in several cases I said something like “during your initial texts”. Why is that? Simply put, it means that once you have built up some familiarity with her and she’s comfortable with you, there’s no reason that you can’t take a few shortcuts in text conversations. Once she knows the real you, there’s nothing wrong with replying to a question with a thumbs up emoji or “k” rather than a full reply. The trick is to keep your text speak in reserve until she has the chance to get to know you.
Avoid Random Texts
You want to text her because you want to build something more. Maybe you want to get to know her a bit more, or perhaps you’re angling for an opening so that you can ask her out on a first date. Whatever the case, you need to keep that purpose in mind and avoid sending out random texts. It wastes your time and hers, and it makes it look like you’re just interested in conversation, rather than anything more than that. Every text you send should tie into some purpose, whether that’s building her comfort with you, making her laugh, or something else.
Mirror Her Tone and Style
It can be tough to know how to proceed with a girl during the first few text messages. Is she into you? She has to be, at least to some extent, if she gave you her number. Does she want things to go farther? How comfortable is she with you? Those are harder to answer. Perhaps the best way to proceed is to mirror her tone and style with you. If she’s coy, be coy. If she’s funny, make jokes back. If she’s relaxed and open, you can be, too.
You’ll find that this is actually one of the most important secrets for communicating with women by text, and she’s actually telling you how she wants you to behave right in her texts. Follow her lead when it comes to using emojis, text length, reply speed, amount and type of teasing, and everything else.
In the end, making a girl want you through text is a balancing act. You don’t want to go in too heavy in the beginning, but you can’t be generic either. Follow the tips I’ve laid out above, and you’ll be able clinch that first date, for sure. I would also recommend signing up for my Advanced Seduction Course 'The T8 System (click here)' to help you learn more about becoming the charismatic, attractive man she wants. Click the button below and I'll see you on the next page!