How to Win Friends and Influence Others
When it comes to influencing and persuading others, and winning over new friends, it is important to realize that the techniques that you use can be helpful for many situations, not just in the business world. It can be helpful for meeting women and dating, as well, which we will be talking about here.
As many people know, it can become difficult to meet people and make friends once you are out of college or the military. It becomes something that you have to actively do and seek out if you want to find people. This applies not only to friends, but also to love interests.
You need to be willing to put yourself out there, and the following are all tips that are going to help make it easier to influence the people that you meet. Keep in mind all of the following, and you will see how useful the tips can be in so many aspects of your life, including meeting women.
Know Your Weaknesses and Fix Them
Everyone has a weakness of some type, and if you want to be influential and have success with women and in other aspects of your life, then you need to acknowledge those weaknesses and then find ways that you can fix them.
For example, if you are not in great shape, you can do something about it. You can head to the gym or the pool and start to take better control of your fitness. You can eat better and get healthier. If you do not dress well or your grooming habits have a bit to be desired, you can make those changes in your life, as well. If your finances are in disarray, take steps to fix them.
There are plenty of little things that you can change and fix about your self that can make a big difference in how people are going to perceive you. Work on yourself first, and you will find that your confidence levels are going to skyrocket. This can make a huge difference in every area of your life.
Refrain from Criticism and Complaints
For some reason there are those out there that try to win people over by telling them what’s wrong with them. There are men out there who try to get women by complaining to them and about them and criticizing them. This is not a tactic that is going to work well for you, at least not very often. People do not want to be criticized by you whether they know you well or not. You need to have more character than this. When you do, it is going to show.
Praise People You Are Talking With
Just as you do not want to criticize people, you do want to praise them. Everyone likes to hear a bit of praise, and you should do your best to be generous with it. When you treat people well and praise them, they are more likely to open up to you and want to talk. This does not mean that you need to shower someone with undeserved praise, of course, as that is going to come across as false. Instead, you want to make sure that you are providing people with the adequate amount of praise in a given situation. Naturally, this is going to differ from one situation to another.
Always Remember the Name
Do you like when a woman that you find attractive just can’t remember your name? Do you like when a boss doesn’t remember your name? Of course not! It can make you feel as though you are not memorable and that remembering your name simply isn’t important for them. Therefore, you do not want to cause others to feel this way. You want to be sure that you take great efforts to remember the person’s name.
If you have a bad memory, start training yourself to remember names. A trick that you might want to use is a mnemonic device, which can help with your memory for a host of things, including names. When you meet someone for the first time and learn their name, repeat it a few times in normal conversation. Another trick is to spell the name in your head when you meet someone, as it can help to aid in memory. You could also ask for a business card, associate their name with something that reminds you of them or that rhymes with their name, for example.
Show a Genuine Interest
If you want people to show interest in you, then you are going to need to show genuine interest in them and their needs, as well. Get to know them to learn more about their interests and passions. When you are truly interested in what people have to say or in their interests, it can endear you to them more quickly. They appreciate that you have taken an interest in their ideas or activities, and they see this as a true interest in who they are as a person. Just remember, the most important aspect of this tip is that the interest needs to be genuine, not about what you could get out of someone.
Find Common Ground
This ties in very closely with the tip that is right above. You want to make sure that you are able to find some common ground with someone. Learn a bit about the person and find things that are interesting to both of you. This common ground might become your bond with that person.
Understand How to Be Charming
Your talent, your looks, and your status in life are all important in their own ways. However, you should never underestimate the value of being truly charming. You have probably seen men with women who are way out of their league. They might not have the looks or the money, but they have something else – an undeniably charming quality that people like and are drawn to. Some people are fortunate enough to be born with natural charm, while others will have to work at it. Even if you are part of the latter group, you will find that it is possible to learn to be more charming when you study proper social skills.
Most of the time, people like those who are able to acknowledge mistakes and errors that they have made. This is true whether you are in the business world or you are talking with someone at a party. Being strong and humble enough to admit when you have done something is appreciated, especially in today’s world where everyone seems to try to foist the blame onto someone or something else.
It’s Not About Winning
One of the myths that has been prevalent in the “alpha male” community is that you need to win at everything and at every argument. However, that’s simply not possible. No matter how “alpha” you might think you are or actually be, there is always a bigger wolf out there. Therefore, you need to realize that it is not always about winning. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t always do or try your best – you absolutely should. However, it also means that you don’t have to be argumentative or upset when things don’t go your way. When you are like that, people see you as being weak, and that is the last thing that you want.
Make People Feel Important
When you are talking with someone, all of your attention should be focused directly on them. The focus should not be on your phone, the person’s friends, or anything other than that individual. Make eye contact, listen, smile, talk, and make the person feel as if they are the only other human on the planet. When you can do this, it shows that you are truly interested in what they have to say, and it can work very well to help you make friends, and when you are meeting women. When you make someone feel special, they are going to be more interested in what you have to say.
Becoming good at winning people over is not something that is inherent in everyone. In fact, most people are going to have some troubles with it here and there, and that is perfectly fine. What you want to do is make sure that you take the time to put in the practice to learn how to speak with and influence people more often. Practice in your everyday life when you are out at the coffee shop or the gym, practice at work and with everyone that you meet. It might take some time, but you will notice a difference in how people view you and treat you, and you will likely notice a difference in your confidence levels, as well.
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