How to Flirt with a Beautiful Woman
We’ve all seen those guys. They’re so smooth. They slide up, grab a drink, and instantly start flirting with the hottest woman in the room. It’s infuriatingly easy for them.
You, on the other hand, feel like your tongue is too big for your mouth. You’re tripping while you walk. The dumbest things come out of your mouth at the worst possible moment. What’s a guy to do if he can’t flirt?
Actually, that’s not true. All guys can flirt. You just need to learn how to do it. Even the smoothest, most charismatic man in the world can stumble and have problems when approaching a beautiful woman. In this post, we’ll take a look at flirtation and what you need to do to ramp up your game.
Don’t Put on an Act
First, let’s address something that most guys do, even if unintentionally. They put on an act. They adopt mannerisms that don’t connect with their personalities. They talk in a way that doesn’t match who they are, all in an attempt to impress the ladies. The problem is this – women see through that crap in about two seconds, and they are not impressed. Not only are they not impressed, but if a woman suspects that you’re not being genuine and hiding who you really are, she’s going to pull back automatically. It’s a subconscious reflex because you actually come across as needy and inauthentic. In a worst-case scenario, you could come across as a threat, which will put all her defenses up and result in zero chance of getting anywhere with her.
So, the first tip here is to be yourself. Be genuine. All that machismo you layer on when you’re around the guys? Drop that crap. If you can’t be yourself around a woman, then what’s the point? She’s obviously not right for you, and things will not end well.
Of course, being yourself around a woman you’ve never met before can be daunting. It makes your heart race and your palms start to sweat. While some guys perform well under that sort of pressure, many don’t. That’s why you need to build your self-confidence. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a confident guy who’s comfortable in his own skin and doesn’t rely on others to validate his worth.
Make Eye Contact
This is one of the most important tips when approaching anyone, not just women. Whether you’re being introduced to your roommate’s best friend, meeting your new boss, or trying to flirt with the hot girl at the bar, eye contact is vital. It shows confidence, and even expresses interest in the other person.
What you shouldn't do, however, is make eye contact without blinking. It’s creepy. In fact, it’s downright disturbing. How do you avoid it, though?
Focus on making your gaze soft, yet confident. If necessary, remind yourself to blink. Don’t look at her and then glance away, though, as that comes off as creepy, too. Hold her gaze and then try to smile with your eyes (not necessarily with your mouth). It will show confidence, but also warmth, and incite her interest without you even having to say a single word.
Yes, flirting is usually the first step toward something more. However, if you focus on it as being just another stepping stone, you’re going to blow past it, or you’re going to turn it into something sleazy. Flirting should ultimately be lighthearted and playful. It can include an element of teasing, but that teasing should never be overtly mean or derogatory. That creates a darker tone than what you want, one bordering on abusive.
So, how do you strike that light tone that you need and keep your flirting upbeat and fun? Really, the most important thing is to avoid being sexual. Even innuendo should be held in check for later. Use humor to make her laugh and feel more comfortable with you.
Don’t Run Out of Things to Say
One of the reasons that guys have so much trouble flirting is that they run out of things to say to the woman. They dry up, and when that happens, they stand there looking like schmucks and feeling defeated. The silence grows more profound and uncomfortable until they slink away with their tails between their legs. Don’t be that guy.
How do you avoid that fate? First, make sure you have read my post on 5 Tips to Ensure You Never Run Out of Things to Say to a Woman. Second, follow the question, answer, respond format. I explored this concept in my post on using the push-pull technique, but we’ll cover it in a nutshell here.
You ask her a question. She answers. You respond to her based on that answer. If you’re able to keep things lighthearted, fun and flirty, you can build her comfort with you while also bolstering your own confidence. It also puts you more in control of the situation. How? It goes like this.
You ask her an honest question. It could be lighthearted, or it could be more serious. Let the situation determine that. She answers – you don’t control what she says, but you do control how you respond to what she says. You tailor your response to her answer. Was it fun and flirty? Was it a bit more serious? By doing this, you have more control over the situation, but you also show her that you’re actually listening to what she says and how she says it. That’s something that too many men don’t do, and it will give you an instant in with the woman in question (plus, it’s just being a decent human being, so get in the habit).
Add Physical Contact
Ok, before we get too far here, I do want to say that getting too touchy-feely is a bad thing. It’ll send up all kinds of red flags for the woman, and can get you in legal hot water, too. Most guys react to that by not touching at all while they flirt. That’s just as disastrous as touching too much, or touching the wrong areas.
The thing that you want to remember is that there are safe places to touch a woman while you’re flirting. The back of her hand, for instance, or her forearm. Even her upper back can be permissible. Touch bridges the gap between the two of you, and it also tells her that it’s ok for her to touch you in return. However, be watchful for signs that she’s not ok with physical contact. If she draws away from you when you brush the back of her hand, it’s a great sign that she’s not into you and you should find someone else to flirt with.
Make Yourself Absent
Once you have established attraction with a woman and have flirted with her a good bit, you can ramp things up by doing the unexpected – leave. I don’t mean pack it in for the night, but get up and go somewhere else. Leave her behind. This is another variation on the concept that underlies the push-pull technique I mentioned earlier.
If you have flirted with her and started building attraction, your absence will be significant. If she’s attracted to you, she will start to look around the venue for you. She may even come over to where you’re at once she locates you again. If she’s chasing you, then you know for sure that she’s interested and that your flirting game is on point.
The point of flirting is to have fun, but also to push things forward. You want to eventually escalate with her. However, you need to watch for signs that she is not comfortable with how fast or how far things are going.
First, your flirting should take on a sexual overtone. If she seems comfortable with this, even reciprocating it, then so much the better. If she backs off, though, you need to do so as well. If she seems ok with sexual innuendo and talk, but balks at anything more physical, it’s definitely a sign that she is not ready yet. She could be very into you, but just not ready to take that next step. A little more time invested in building her comfort level with you, and strengthening your relationship, could have positive results. This is particularly important if you’re looking for something more than a one-night stand.
In the End
Ultimately, there are some guys who can flirt easily, without any preparation or training. However, others need a little help. In the end, though, anyone can learn how to flirt well. Of course, flirting requires confidence in yourself and knowing that you’re an attractive man. If you lack that confidence and knowledge, my Advanced Seduction Course - 'The T8 System' (click here) is the ideal solution. You’ll learn everything you need to know to flirt with any beautiful woman confidently, without coming across as self-conscious, needy, or doubting your own abilities. Simply click the button below to continue on to the next page and watch the *secret* presentation where I go through the '9 Top Secret Methods to Completely Transform Your Sex Life in 8 Weeks or Less'..