adrian gee

4 months ago

How Technology is Changing Our Dating Game

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How Technology is Changing Our Dating Game

Even though Internet dating is as old as the Internet itself, over the past year, psychologists and sociologists have been attacking online dating services more actively. In their opinion, they now do more harm than good. The list of complaints is long, and here are just a few of them: firstly, people lie to each other (for example, that they are single), which often leads to divorces, dating your friend's ex, cheating, and other troubles. Secondly, dating sites also lie to you because the algorithms for selecting supposedly suitable partners for you are not based on anything: there is no evidence that in life, you will like a person who, like you, loves The Rolling Stones and sushi. Thirdly, online dating leads to an increase in the number of sexual partners, which increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Fourth, a meeting on a dating site requires a faster than real-life development of relationships, which does not always benefit them.

 

There are plenty of fish in the sea

 

Online dating enhances the ability to find a couple for those who live in small cities, but the rest should better stay away from it because the illusion of unlimited choice of partners destructively affects the ability to create strong relationships.

In its September issue, Vanity Fair, an American magazine, also published a devastating article about how twenty-year-old New Yorkers, constantly swiping right and left in Tinder, cease to value people, easily replacing one sympathy with another and finally abandoning potentially successful relationships for the sake of one-night stands. American psychologists have even introduced the concept of Attention Deficit Dating (ADD) - the inability during courtship to develop an emotional attachment to one person because of the illusion (which the Internet creates) that there is always someone a little better than the one you already go on a date this Friday.

 

Play with me

 

About 10% of the online audience is constantly using one of the dating services. And the number of users of online dating will only grow: during crises, people want to delve into the emotional sphere, compensating for their experiences. During the previous crisis of 2008, dating platforms themselves grew, and the number of users and the duration of the sessions increased.

Tinder has more than 50 million users worldwide. Of course, this figure cannot be compared with a flock of other giants, such as Mamba (21 million registered users), LovePlanet (19 million), or Badoo (approximately 20 million), but unlike them, Tinder took online dating out of the category of awkward activities for those who are desperate into the socially approved practice that your friend resorts to.

Perhaps the main difference between Tinder and other dating services is that it turned the search for a nice person into a fun game: following the search categories, the application gives out a set of photos, among which are ones that you might like. And only if the sympathies coincide, the chat will open - or it will be offered to scroll through people further. It is called "continue the game."

 

Choose me

 

Never before has a person had to make as many decisions as they have to make today. What yogurt to buy? Where to have dinner? When to have kids? Which bank should I keep my money at? This harms us greatly: firstly, endless choices paralyze - people try to postpone difficult choices for later. Secondly, the greater the choice, the greater the disappointment in case of dissatisfaction with it because, having chosen, we still keep in mind all the missed opportunities. Thirdly, in an infinite number of options, our expectations are steadily growing: if we have already spent so much time choosing jeans, then they should be at least perfect. Therefore, the recipe for happiness is simple: lower your expectations, and you will be pleasantly surprised.

 

Surprise me

 

No matter how much we love new acquaintances and new subscribers on Facebook, our ability to keep in mind the facts and circumstances of other people's lives and feel empathy for them is limited. A person, like his ancestors, is able to maintain an emotional connection with no more than 150 people. That is exactly what the average population of a prehistoric village totaled.

Now we are in a situation of regular communication with a very large number of people. The erosion of the social circle puts you in a situation where you are not able to feel emotions in relation to all your friends.

Another unpleasant aspect of tech penetration into dating is that even if a person marries, they do not leave the marriage market.

 

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