How to Get Women Who Are Out of Your League
We’ve all been there before. We spot a beautiful woman in the crowd and point her out to a friend. He laughs, and claps you on the back.
“Dude, she’s so out of your league.”
You stare for a moment in longing, as the idea slowly sinks in that you just aren’t good enough, somehow aren’t worthy enough, to approach her, then turn away.
It’s a sad state of affairs, but the concept of two people being compatible simply because one is physically stunning, and the other is only “average” is as old as humanity itself. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to get a woman who is technically not in your league. There are quite a few ways you can smash past that barrier.
What Does “In Your League” Actually Mean?
Before we can address how to get a woman who is out of your league, we need to set some parameters about what your league actually is. How do you judge who is in your league, and who is out of it? What is it in the first place?
According to a study published in Science Advances in late 2018, out of hundreds of thousands of heterosexual people across the United States using an unnamed dating app, 25% of men and women messaged people who averaged 25% more attractive than themselves. However, physical attractiveness is only part of it. There were other factors noted in the study, but most of them were subjective – ethnicity, age, education level, elocution, wit, and more.
Ultimately, the study found that the boundaries of your “league” are largely self-set. You control them for the most part. Sure, if your face has been horribly disfigured by acid, you will likely have a harder time getting people to look past your scars to the heart of gold underneath, but in most cases, physical appearance is only part of it, and most of us sell ourselves short.
In a nutshell, your league is a lot bigger than you give yourself credit for. That’s actually the first step in getting women who are out of what you perceive as “your league”.
You Create Your Own Story
We all have this mental image of ourselves, and it is usually lower than how other people perceive us. We also have a picture of other people, and that’s often higher than what they actually deserve. A negative self-image generally means that you will see most women as inaccessible. That’s because of several reasons, all of which play upon one another.
First, you feel that you are unattractive. You think that a beautiful woman could never be attracted to you, and that makes women inaccessible. Second, that attitude of inaccessibility colors your perceptions and affects your actions around all women, not just the 1% who might actually be unapproachable.
What does that mean? Simply put, it means that if you see yourself as unworthy of a woman’s attentions, then you’re less likely to approach her in the first place. That means you automatically have zero chance of being with her, even if she finds you attractive. In order to overcome this issue, you need to create a healthy self-image and learn how to be a confident man, secure in his own skin. You need to learn your own self-worth as measured within, not against external factors.
Fake It If You Must
Not feeling particularly bold or confident? Not sure you can really come across as charismatic and charming? No problem. You can fake it until you develop the confidence necessary to make it come naturally. How, though? There are tons of ways. One of those is to pattern your actions after a particular role model – say James Bond or even Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, like I explained in my post on How to Be the Coolest Guy in the Room.
However, you don’t necessarily have to go that route. You can use positive self-talk to boost your confidence in yourself. You can just act more confident than you feel – those knocking knees aren’t actually audible. Steel your nerve, and get up and talk to her. After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
Don’t Fear Rejection
“No” is a powerful word. It has a tremendous effect on us – it colors our perception of the world, and even of ourselves. Here’s the thing, though. It’s ultimately just a word, and it really doesn’t mean what you think it means.
Think of it this way. You approach a beautiful woman who is definitely out of your league. You make small talk and then ask her to dance. Or maybe you offer to buy her a drink. It could be anything. She says “no,” and you sulk away, defeated and rejected.
But, why did she actually say no? It might not have had anything to do with you. Perhaps she had a bad day at work and was just out blowing off some steam with her girlfriends. Maybe she’s coming out of a damaging relationship and, while she finds you attractive, she’s not in the right place for even a casual encounter.
Again, there could be any number of reasons behind that singular “no.” You need to get out of your own head enough to realize that those reasons might have nothing to do with you whatsoever. Stop letting perceived rejection color your view of women, yourself, and the world.
Approach More Women
An interesting note in the study I mentioned earlier is that the researchers found that men who messaged women who rated higher in terms of attractiveness received fewer responses, but that they also increased the number of women they were messaging. This had the effect of getting them at least some replies.
So, one way to get with a woman who’s out of your league is just to be persistent. I don’t mean bugging one woman until she wants to scream, or takes out a restraining order. That’s not the way, man. No, what I mean is that you need to cast a wider net. Message women who are highly attractive, but message several women at the same time. Chances are good that you’ll be ignored by some, but one or two will reply to you.
By casting a wider net, you’re able to offset your losses and actually land a date with a beautiful woman. Of course, that’s easier said than done, and it’s not something you can really do in the real world. Thankfully, the world of online dating is booming (but you’ll need to know how to attract women online, too).
Actually Listen to Her
This is a point I’ve made in multiple posts. If you want to really impress a woman and get her to give you the time of day, you need to show that you’re not just another guy. Too many men today play the “bad guy” card. They think that by being disrespectful of women, it somehow earns them cred. It makes them more desirable to women.
It might, at least to certain women. Here’s the thing, though – those aren’t the women you want to be hooking up with anyway, not even for a one-night stand. Being attracted to a man who treats her badly speaks volumes about her self-worth and self-confidence, and is an indicator that she’s likely been the victim of abuse in the past. She’s most likely in a self-destructive spiral, and you want no part of that.
Instead, look for women who are strong enough to appreciate it when a man treats her right. Actively listen to her, and get to know her. Where is she from? What does she do for a living? What are her interests? Where did she spend her summers as a kid? Treat her like a human being first, and a woman second, and you’ll get a lot farther with those who you think might be out of your league.
In the end, your league is probably not as narrowly defined as you think it is. Remember that we set the boundaries of our circles ourselves in many instances. Don’t let your negative self-image derail your dating efforts. Remember that what you think of as unattractive may be attractive to some women.
It’s also important to be confident and charismatic, even if you have to fake it at first. Women appreciate a man who’s in control of himself and bold enough to approach them. However, remember that a “no” does not necessarily equate to her rejecting you, yourself. There are many different factors that can lead to a no, and most of them have nothing to do with you whatsoever.
Don’t forget to be genuine. Show your interest in her. Treat her like a human being, and don’t believe the hype that only bad boys get the girl. Nice guys can and do triumph.
Finally, I recommend that you sign up for my Advanced Seduction Course - 'The T8 System' (click here). I teach men just like you how to be the bold, confident, attractive guys that women today want. Simply click the button below to continue on to the next page and watch the *secret* presentation where I go through the '9 Top Secret Methods to Completely Transform Your Sex Life in 8 Weeks or Less'..