Bad First Date Ideas: Avoiding Relationship Killers
You’ve done all the legwork at this point. You’ve been charismatic and interesting. You’ve been funny. You’ve managed to get her interested in you. Now it’s time to take her out on your first date. It’s an exciting time, and if you play your cards right and are able to increase her comfort with you, there could be a second date, and a third after that. However, that only works if she gives you a chance. The wrong date idea could kill that budding romance before you have a chance to close the deal.
Why Do Date Ideas Matter?
If you’ve watched any rom-com lately, or listened to any hopeless romantic gush about their dream relationship, then you might think that your destination doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re there together, walking hand in hand. Right?
While being with her is the most important element (you can’t very well have a date if you’re not both present), the destination, activity, and venue make a huge difference. Some date ideas will show her that you’re a high-status man, capable of taking care of her physically, mentally, emotionally, and monetarily. The wrong date ideas, on the other hand, will make her run for the hills. That’s obviously not what you want, so how do you avoid being left in the lurch, and wondering what went wrong?
It’s actually not that difficult. You just need to know how to recognize a bad date idea. Of course, that might not be as simple as it sounds if you’ve never really encountered any. That’s what we’ll explore in this post. I’ll highlight some of the dumbest, worst, most cringe-inducing date ideas out there so that you can avoid these potholes and get to work building your relationship.
A Friend’s Birthday Party
This one should really be a no-brainer. If you’re on a first date, chances are good that she doesn’t know any of your friends, and has no reason to care whether it’s their birthday or not. Also, this makes the day about your friend, not about you and your date. It’s tough to get to know one another over beer and birthday cake, particularly when your buddy gets drunk and starts running shirtless through his house.
Meeting Your Family
Another instant “no”. Keep your date far from your family for the time being. While you might eventually want to show her off to mom and dad, now is not the time. This is a great way to scare her off forever. It screams that you’re a needy guy, and that’s not something you should ever be. Meeting the parents is something that should be reserved for months down the road, once you two have gotten close enough to make the introduction worth it, and to make her actually want to meet your family.
Ugh. Really? What are you, 12? Sure, arcades can be a lot of fun. They can even be a lot of fun as a date night. Just not on your first date. You need to get to know her, and she definitely needs to get to know you so that she’s comfortable with you. How’s that supposed to happen when your conversation is drowned out by clanging alarms and whistles, and you’re both blinded by flashing lights?
Let’s make this really clear – under no circumstances should you take a first date to the club. Any club. Ever. Hell, I’d go so far as to say that you should never take any date to a club, even if you’ve been together for months. Clubbing is for picking up women (or men, if you’re a woman). It’s where you go to meet people, or to cut loose with your friends. It’s certainly not about spending quality time with someone, and there’s no way in hell you’ll get to know one another on the dance floor.
Sure, this might have worked when you were 15 and your parents had to drop you off, but you’re a big boy now. Put on your big boy pants and take her somewhere real. Wandering endlessly through cavernous temples to consumerism isn’t really going to score you any points. It will tell her that you’re still stuck in junior high, though.
A Walk in the Bitter Cold
Who doesn’t love a long, romantic walk, hand in hand under the moonlight? Well, most people won’t if the temperatures below freezing. Sure, a winter wonderland can be incredibly romantic. However, if it’s a first date, you’d best keep that snow-capped view behind glass so that you’re both warm and toasty. Not to mention the fact that you won’t impress her with your snot freezes on your upper lip.
A Sports Game
No woman worth your time is going to be impressed by going to support your favorite team. Unless she’s as big a fan as you, of course. In that case, go for it. However, for most women, a sports game is tantamount to a trip to the laundromat – it’s dullsville.
Think that grabbing a grill, icing down some watered down American beer in the cooler, and setting up lawn chairs in a parking lot at your local stadium is the height of fun? Boy, you have a lot to learn, and I’d be willing to bet that any woman you take tailgating on a first date is going to think the same thing. Of course, if she’s a sports fan and/or you met her initially at a tailgating event, that might not be so bad. Those are the exceptions, though.
Yes, the beach can be incredibly romantic. But only when you’re walking it at night, under the moonlight, hand in hand, with a nice breeze. Taking her to the beach during the day isn’t a great idea on a first date. She’ll end up worried about the sand getting into her -everywhere- than what you’re saying, and there’s a very real chance that you’ll embarrass yourself by staring at all the other…assets…around you. Skip the beach until you’re much more comfortable with one another.
Hanging with Your Friends
When was the last time you hung out with a group of complete strangers who shared nothing in common with you and had a good time? Oh, that’s right. Never. Don’t force your date into that role. She has no interest in your friends. Plus, hanging out with them means she has to compete for your attention, which isn’t something that you want on a first date. Tonight should be about the two of you, not the two of you, plus Mikey, John, and Beer Bong Steve.
This is probably one destination that you thought was safe. And, to an extent, it is. However, only if you have periods before and after where the two of you can actually talk to one another. That’s the problem with going to the movies – you can’t talk. There is zero chance that you’ll get to know her better, or that she’ll become more comfortable with you.
A BBQ Restaurant
Taking your date out to eat IS a good idea. Just not to a BBQ joint. Sure, it’s tasty. Who doesn’t love a good brisket or rack of ribs? Here’s the thing, though. Those moist towelettes they serve with the meal? That should clue you in. You’re going to look like a slob all slathered in sauce. Plus, she’s not going to be all that comfortable getting sauce all over her lips. And face. And arms. And clothing. Leave the BBQ for a later date.
So, if all of these are off limits, where should you take her? Get creative. Think outside the box. There are tons of potential great first date ideas, but they need to fit some specific criteria. Let me spell things out for you so there’s no misunderstanding:
You should be able to focus on her almost exclusively.
She should be able to focus on you.
She should not have to compete for your attention.
You should both be able to talk at a normal volume.
You should be able to get to know one another without having to be uncomfortable, whether that’s physically or mentally.
So, where will you take her? Out to dinner is a great idea. Or, you could head to the boardwalk for an evening stroll as the sun sets over the water. Hell, take her out for a mid-afternoon picnic somewhere with an amazing view and lots of warm sunshine. Are you both into history? Go to a museum. Both love art? An art gallery would be cool. Whatever it is, make it special for the two of you, based on shared interests and designed to build her comfort level.
In the End
If you’re about to head out on your first date, avoid the scenarios we’ve discussed above. You’ll stand a much better chance of landing a second date that way. However, if you're struggling getting that first date and want to learn more about being a charismatic, attractive man, then make sure you sign up for my Advanced Seduction Program, 'The T8 System' (click here). There, you'll not only learn how to get phone numbers, dates, overcoming your approach anxiety (AA), but you'll literally master the art of seduction in 8 weeks or less. So, click the button below and transform your life today!