10 Qualities to Become a Charismatic Man
What do the Dalai Lama, Elon Musk, Barrack Obama and Winston Churchill all have in common? They all come from drastically different backgrounds, even from different time periods. They’re different races, and are of different faiths. Yet, they all share something in common with one another. What is that?
They’re all extremely charismatic. They’re energetic, charming, and decisive. They can sway a crowd to their point of view with only words and body language. They’re all natural leaders in their own way, and they possess charisma by the ton.
Not sure what charisma might be? You might know it better by another, related term, such as allure, or fascination. Charismatic people are often said to have magnetic personalities, or that they are seductive. They can be charming, or enchanting, and they are often referred to as being engaging.
In many ways, charisma is what sets a leader apart from a follower, or an alpha male apart from a beta. The average guy doesn’t really feel all that charismatic, though. Sure, you have your moments, but that switch only flips every now and then. There’s good news. You can actually train to become more charismatic – there is a way that you can flip that switch to “on” for good.
1. You Feel Emotions
Men are too often taught that they should not feel strong emotions, with anger being one of the few exceptions. We’re taught that we shouldn't cry, that we shouldn’t care, that we shouldn’t “wear our emotions on our sleeves”. That’s great advice – if you want to be a mediocre man the rest of your life. Real men, charismatic men, experience strong emotions and they are not afraid to let others see those emotions.
Think of how strongly passion came through in President Obama’s speeches. Think of the compassion that flows from the Dalai Lama. Think of the courage expressed by Winston Churchill. All of those men experienced strong emotions and were unafraid to let others know that they were actual, feeling human beings. Locking your emotions away behind a wall of machismo is a sure way to always come in second. While you should never come across as needy, there is no shame in feeling things.
2. You Share Your Emotions with Others
It’s not enough to experience strong emotions. You need to take things to the next level. Truly charismatic people are able to instill the emotions they are feeling in others. Think about Churchill and his speeches to the British people during the Nazi bombings in WWII – he was able to instill in them a sense of courage and purpose, confidence and the ability to overcome.
This is part of what makes charismatic people so likeable and relatable. It’s not that they’re tapping into things we ourselves are feeling, but that they are able to instill what they are feeling within us. They are able to incite our own emotions and to create a specific reaction in an audience.
3. You Have Self-Confidence
Think about anyone you know who comes across as charming or who has a magnetic personality. What other qualities do you associate with them? While there is probably a long list of attributes, chances are very good that self-confidence is high up there. This is because charismatic people across the board are possessed of outstanding self-confidence.
They know themselves and what they are capable of achieving. They know their weaknesses, and have worked to turn those into strengths. They know their own inherent value, and that this self-worth does not hinge on anyone else’s opinion of them. They are confident, strong and engaging.
In order to become a charismatic person, it’s vital that you build your own self-confidence. That can be difficult to do, but it can be achieved. However, it’s important that you do not confuse ego for self-confidence. There’s a major difference between being a confident, strong man, and being an egotistical jerk.
4. You Can Tell Stories That Suck Others In
What is it that makes up the world? Charismatic people realize that life is not about money, or power or fame, or any of those things. It’s about stories. It’s about people and their interactions – their accomplishments, their failures, their hopes and dreams. These people are able to take those things and turn them into stories that engage their listeners, and make them feel something for the people within the story. In order to be a truly charismatic man, you’ll need to master the art of storytelling and creating empathy.
5. You Master Your Body Language
When you see a hesitant person, do you feel that they are engaging? When you interact with someone who won’t make eye contact, do you feel that they are a leader? When you see someone walking down the street with bowed shoulders and a bent neck, do you think to yourself, now there’s someone who knows what life is all about? No. That’s because these are all examples of negative body language.
A charismatic man understands just how important body language is, and intentionally uses it to project self-confidence, strength, and openness. He does not close himself off from others by crossing his arms over his chest, or indicate indifference by shoving his hands in his pocket. He does not project an air of defeat by slouching when he stands, or the appearance of fatigue by walking with bowed shoulders. Instead, he adopts an open, affable, confident stance with his back straight, shoulders back, and head high.
6. You Don’t Focus on Yourself
There’s a misunderstanding out there that real leaders, alpha males, are focused on themselves. They are the center of their own world. That’s simply not true, and you’ll find that charismatic men certainly don’t focus on themselves. In fact, they often go the other direction. They make the other person feel like they’re the center of attention. They do good for others. They give more than they take. This inherently creates a sense of goodwill in the other person, as well as a feeling that they are valued. That immediately reinforces a positive perception of the charismatic individual.
7. You Actively Listen to Others
There’s a big difference between listening and actively listening to others. Active listening means that you actually listen with the intent of understanding their point of view, or where they’re coming from. You’re not just listening so that you can reply or rebut whatever point they’re trying to make.
By listening to the other person, you show that you are interested in what they have to say, which lends their ideas and opinions value. You show empathy and engagement, as well. It’s important that you avoid distractions while listening, as well. Put the phone down. Resist the urge to look around for someone that you know.
8. You Aren’t Easily Influenced by Others
When you think of someone engaging and charismatic, chances are good that you equate that with leadership. Leaders listen to others, accept their input on a topic or situation, and then make up their own mind about what to do, what action to take and the like. They do not let others influence them easily.
One way to show that you are not a charismatic man is to follow the crowd blindly. You listen to the music that’s “cool” not because you like it, but because it’s in at the moment. You wear the clothing that other people are wearing, rather than dressing yourself with your own sense of style. You follow the opinions and ideas of other people because you’re too afraid to think for yourself and follow to the conclusions you come to on your own.
A charismatic man listens to others and values what they bring to the table, whether that’s ideas on the topics of the day, fashion, music, or something else. Ultimately, though, he makes his own decisions based on his own reasons.
9. You Focus on Making Other People Feel Good about Themselves
It’s tempting to think that charismatic alphas see life as being all about them. That’s actually not true. Real alphas realize that life is a complex web of interconnected relationships and that in order to build up their own success, they need to build up other people around them.
A truly charismatic person focuses on making other people feel good about themselves. This could be something as simple as commenting that a particular idea had a lot of value, or as complex as volunteering their time at a local food pantry. Whatever the case, a charismatic person focuses on others and helps to build them up.
10. You Are Fully Engaged with Others in Conversation
We’ve mentioned active listening, but engagement goes deeper. A charismatic man will engage with the other person in a conversation. You don’t even have to say a word to do that. Make eye contact with the speaker to show your attention. Nod at appropriate places. Be fully present. Avoid smartphones and app notifications. Avoid distractions. Build your presence by being present.
In the end, charismatic men understand that making others feel important and valued is essential. Remember that charisma is more about how others see you – it’s about them, ultimately not about you.
Struggling to master the art of charisma so that you can be a confident man with beautiful women? Check out my Advanced Seduction Course 'The T8 System (click here)' to learn everything you need about becoming a charismatic man with the power to attract women.